Put it down and stop being a consumer. Women don’t make sexual decisions based purely on scent – the gym tells us this. There isn’t a place on this world where the scent of a man out-values that of his wealth, charm, looks, or social class, let alone a scent purchased for less than a Coffee Bean Cinnamon Roll (btw, highly recommended when heated in a microwave).

Everyday, men are provided with new and inexpensive ways to attract women without actually asking a girl what she wants to smell when you walk by? When it comes to fragrance, and in many cases, shaving products, the best companies are those that have been around for decades and whose products don’t only come in Aerosol form.

I think this all stems from to the basic causal relationship between women and men: Women don’t like cheap men, and an Axe man is a cheap man. Therefore women don’t like a man who wears Axe.

Ah, Smells Like Attractive!

Further Ranting after the jump
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Each week, one of our Hall of Fame Haters will have one of their most appreciated bits, lyrics, rants, and videos on display so others can begin the education of these great comedians; or more appropriately, revolutionaries.  

This week: George Carlin’s bit on Guys Named Todd: 


As always, you can purchase this CD via this link. 

Do to our Libertarian views, this type of media is only a step in the right direction and a good laugh as well.

Special Thanks to Mr. T-Bone.

If you would like to read further, we encourage you to peruse the following web links:
The Safer Choice

There is a major common misconception that people have with trying to mask a specific odor and in most cases this odor is that of Shit.

What people don’t realize is that these sprays in fact do the opposite of what their intended purpose is to be – masking other odors with a pleasant smell of Morning Honeydew so to make the next guest assume that someone was cutting some mellon over the toilet. Nothing wrong here, all logical reasons for this calming scent.

Please save me the future memories of these horrible scents

But this doesn’t happen when you spray this in an area where other odors are present. All this does is combine one strong smell with an even stronger one.

The end result is Morning Honeydew-Shit.

Not only is this a more horrific odor to avoid but it will last almost twice as long.

Close the door, open the window, wait it out. don’t Spray, and save us all the horror of having to bring back horrific memories whenever I smell Morning Honeydew – they only act as a sensory trigger for past terror.

Makeup is a touchy thing.  It has the power to make someone’s face clear up and look as perfect as ever when you need it to be.  And when its done right, it looks natural and casual.

However, girls invariably do the exact opposite that the makeup is trying to cover-up, by creating something even more disgusting to stare at than any acne – thousands of white particles that make your face look you just shoved it in the sand. 

So lets keep this one short and to the point.

Guys don’t like makeup. Girls like makeup.

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Disclaimer:  Doing any of these things could result in you NOT getting a table at all. Be aware of this and make the correct accommodations for other dinner arrangements if need be. You are acting like an asshole and as a result, expect to be treated like one in the likely event someone isn’t appreciating your humor and wants you to know about it. Additionally, Randomstuffihate.com takes no responsibility for any physical harm you may occur as a result of acting like a jerk. Do so at your own risk.  

Photo Cred
Photo Cred

Restaurants are a great place for stress release and the hostess is you’re main liaison to a possible enchanted evening. As a result, having great power comes great responsibility, and dealing with the public also means dealing with a wide variety of jerky people. 

Depending on how busy the restaurant is and the maturity of said hostess (I wouldn’t screw with people who are much older than yourself), I choose to sometimes do one of a few things depending on my degree of annoyance that night…   

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Its not an attractive thing in part, but as a whole it can be a very enjoyable experience.

Lets keep it at that and preserve its integrity.    

And a real classic after the jump…

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